'IN AN EFFORT TO GET PEOPLE TO LOOK INTO EACH OTHERS' EYES MORE, THE GOVERNMENT HAS DECIDED TO ALLOT EACH PERSON EXACTLY ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN WORDS PER DAY.
WHEN THE PHONE RINGS, I PUT IT TO MY EAR WITHOUT SAYING HELLO. IN THE RESTAURANT, I POINT AT CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP. I AM ADJUSTING WELL TO THE NEW WAY.
LATE AT NIGHT, I CALL MY LONG-DISTANCE LOVER AND PROUDLY SAY: I ONLY USED FIFTY-NINE WORDS TODAY, I SAVED THE REST FOR YOU. WHEN SHE DOESN'T RESPOND, I KNOW SHE'S USED UP ALL HER WORDS, SO I SLOWLY WHISPER "I LOVE YOU" THIRTY-TWO AND A THIRD TIMES.
AFTER THAT, WE JUST SIT ON THE LINE AND LISTEN TO EACH OTHER BREATHE.'
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